Boomerang
by littlepiecesofme
Summary: I'll come on back, cause I know - though you meant to let me go, I could always be your boomerang.
_Before you go any further - if you haven't read, or don't want to think about any speculation for the rest of season 12...then stop now. Just stop. Back away. This is based on upcoming episode descriptions, and how I think (HOPE!) things might go._

 _Cause I've gotta trust the journey._

 _Oh, and - I just made a tumblr. So if you want, you can follow me at_ _pieces-falling-from-me_ _. I have no idea what I'm doing._

 _Thanks for reading, as always :)_

 _._

* * *

"Do you even hear yourself right now?"

The younger doctor gives me an incredulous look, pulling her jacket on with a little more force than necessary, her ponytail swaying as she shakes her head in disbelief.

"Do you know how many times you've defended her in the past two weeks alone? Every single time I say something. And it's not like I'm saying she's a monster – all I said was that I felt like she's being kind of tough on me."

"Peds is a tough department. She has to put her residents through the ropes, Penny - it's one of the most exclusive specialties."

"I get that, I do. But what? I'm not allowed to complain? To my _girlfriend_? Look, I know you two have history a mile long - I get that - but you're still always going to take her side, aren't you? At first I thought it was just an attendings-stick-together thing, but."

Running a hand back over my hair, I let out an exasperated sigh. This isn't exactly the way I thought tonight would go. I was picturing a calm, quiet, pleasant dinner for two - something I doubt will be happening now.

"I'm not taking her side, Penny. And she's the-"

"I know, I know," she grabs her bag from her locker, "she's the mother of your child. She's a double-board-certified surgeon. She's brilliant. She's an amazing teacher. I know, Callie - you keep telling me."

I open my mouth to voice a rebuttal, but I'm finding myself lost for words. Penny and I have never argued like this before - never had more than a little disagreement here and there. Maybe I _have_ been defending Arizona too much. But I haven't been mentioning her any more than normal, have I?

"Listen, just..." the redhead sighs, "you lie to me about her and Sofia, you defend her constantly to me and everyone else...I mean, I thought we were going somewhere here. God, I asked you to move to New York with me and I thought...I thought you were really thinking about it. But honestly? Sometimes it seems like you still have feelings for her."

And right then, with those words resounding between us - the tiniest of hairline fractures finally appears in my facade. I hesitate just a moment too long, the words caught on the tip of my tongue, and she instantly senses it.

Her face changes, the look of exasperation and annoyance suddenly shifting into one of genuine shock as she stares at me.

"You do, don't you."

"No, Penny, I don't-"

I reach out for her hand, but something in the back of mind knows it's too late; knows that the inevitable moment has finally come. I try to catch up with my brain before any more words reach my lips but suddenly there's no masking it anymore - and honestly, I'm not sure I _want_ to deny it any longer.

"Arizona doesn't want me back so there's-"

She lets me twine our fingers together, but a flash of hurt crosses her eyes at my reply. And then a look of what can only be described as resignation.

"But you'd go back to her if she did, wouldn't you?"

I let my gaze meet hers - lingering on the green eyes that I truly have come to care for over the last five months - and as I watch them, as I seek out something I instinctively know I'm not going to find...I finally let myself speak the truth.

"I'm sorry..."

The words escape me in a whisper, and I feel a genuine tug of remorse as I see disappointment and hurt wash over the woman standing in front of me. I never wanted to hurt her.

"I'm sorry, Penny," I let out a sigh - heavy with the weight of the last two years - and let my hands slip from hers, "you're...I do care for you. You have to know that."

The redhead waits, her face slipping into an emotionless facade.

"But..." I blink back the tears threatening to gather in my own eyes, "I would choose her. It's not you...I just..."

She shakes her head a little in either sorrow or disbelief - or some combination of the two - and I swallow back the lump in my throat as a wave of unexpected emotion courses through my body. How has it taken me so long to admit what my heart has never forgotten?

"I'll always choose her."

.

* * *

.

I'm not proud of the hasty exit I make from the locker room, leaving the younger woman standing behind. I know what it's like to be her - to be the one broken by the person she trusted most. I know I'll have to talk to her again - I'll end things the right way - but right now I just...I can't.

I wipe at my eyes, clearing the tears that are starting to cloud my vision, and rounding the corner I don't even notice when I practically walk into another body, jolted from my thoughts at the near-collision.

"Torres, what's going on-"

"Arizona."

Her name is the only word I manage to get out, the only thing front and centre in my mind right now.

"What about her?"

I can feel the beginnings of a remorseful smile tug at my lips, and I wipe my eyes hastily again, looking down to meet the shorter woman's questioning gaze.

"It's her. Miranda..." my heart thumps loudly in my chest at the very thought of the blonde surgeon, "I can't picture anyone beside me but her."

Bailey's face softens into a knowing expression as I finally answer her question from weeks ago, and she nods once, reaching out to squeeze my arm in support.

"Yeah, I thought so."

"But she's moved on...she'll never forgive me, not like that..." I trail off, choking on my words as tears flood my eyes again, "I figured it out too late."

"Callie."

Her use of my first name catches my attention, and I glance up again, shaking my head a little to try and clear my mind. I'm too late, I know I am. I left _her_. I left her and I broke her heart, and she's...she's become happy without me again.

"I think before you assume anything, you ought to go ask her."

.

* * *

.

The porch light comes on and the door opens in front of me, my breath catching in my throat as the other woman comes into view. My eyes instinctively take her in - her blonde waves slightly tousled, like she's been running her fingers through them, her body clad in her favourite pair of worn sweat pants, an oversized, soft cardigan wrapped around her small frame covering the tank top I know is underneath. She looks stunning.

"Callie?"

Her brows furrow, worry immediately evident in her voice.

"What are you - is everything alright? Is Sofia-"

"It's you."

I cut her off, blurting out the words I'd spent the drive over here repeating in my head. She needs to know. No matter what happens, no matter how she reacts or what she does or doesn't say...she needs to know. I have to try. Her eyes find mine with a hint of confusion, and I take a deep breath before letting myself continue.

"It's you, Arizona. When I think of the future...when I think of...fifteen, twenty years from now, watching Sofia play in the World Cup or...or watching her debut at Carnegie Hall, the only person I can picture standing beside me, cheering beside me is _you_. It's always you."

Her eyes widen in surprise, blinking at me as if she isn't able to understand what I'm saying. She has every right to be angry, I know she does. She has every right to hate me for walking away, for breaking her heart, for giving up what we had. We've become friends again, but that doesn't mean she still feels anything more for me.

I should never have given up on us. Nobody said it was going to be easy - marriage, love, it isn't easy. Not real love, not what we had. It's hard, and it's messy, and sometimes you have to fight for every single minute; you have to _choose_ to be together. But it's worth all of that and so much more.

"I'm not going to New York. Penny's going and I'm...I'm not. Sofia is yours, Arizona, but I'm yours too. I promised you I would never leave."

"Callie..."

She speaks my name softly, and I realize how my words are probably sounding to her. Like some kind of misguided obligation. But that's not it at all.

"I _can't_ leave, Arizona. I don't want to. Not when everything I love is here."

I hold her gaze, watching as the blue eyes before me process a hundred different emotions in the span of a few seconds. God, her eyes are beautiful. They can be unreadable to other people, but to me, they've always been as clear as day.

"When every _one_ I love is here."

The only sounds are the soft background noises of the evening; the light rustle of leaves, the cars quietly travelling the next street over, the hum of the city just beyond the borders of the older, secluded neighbourhood. Somewhere, faintly in the back of the house, I can hear the soft murmur of the television, and I can hear her deep intake of breath after a moment as she lets her eyes flutter shut – breaking our eye contact for only a fraction of a second.

"Yes."

I pause at her simple response, my heart beating wildly as I catch my breath in surprise. That's not...at all what I expected.

"Just like that? You're just...after everything..."

"Callie..."

She speaks softly, a myriad of emotions again passing through those crystal clear eyes, and her head tilts ever so slightly as she looks at me. It's a look I've gotten numerous times over the years, a look I know well on the other woman.

"Don't you get it? Of course I'll come back...I keep coming back because it's _you_ , Callie. It's you, and it's me. It's the same reason you're standing here right now."

I try not to let the hope fluttering in my chest overwhelm me as I watch her, but she takes a step closer over the threshold of the door and reaches a hand up to reverently cup my cheek, and I am – I'm immediately overwhelmed. The touch is _electric_.

"We are worth it."

She whispers softly now, her lips mere inches from my own. Her palm is warm and reassuring where it rests, and she sighs softly – _happily_ – as she lightly traces her thumb against my skin. It's these touches that I've missed; these soft, breathless sighs from the smaller woman's lips. It's the scent that envelopes me as she steps closer, the warmth from her body that feels so comfortable, so familiar...yet so exciting, all the same.

It's the way she smiles at me, and the way her eyes crinkle slightly at the corners – the laugh lines a little more prominent than the last time we were this close, but somehow even more beautiful.

It's just her. It's _her_ that I've missed.

"Calliope, we will always be worth it."

.

.

 _Boomerang - by the Barenaked Ladies_

 _._


End file.
